thats life

#onreplay
hmm so yeah just here to say that we broke up.its not what i wanted and i swear if i could have him back i would want it right nao!kbye.hmmm i love you still no matter what.

theres nothing like you and i

i cry alot.i cry alot for you the most.when you dont reply.when you are sweet to me.when you make me happy.when i think of you and night before i go to bed.when i have thoughts of you in the morning when i just woke up.good things,bad things.yes i cry.the most i cry is when you simply say the word 'break'.yes that word literally panics me and i will automatically feel the hurt and memories will start coming back flashing in my head non-stop.the word really scares me cos one thing is for sure I DONT WANT TO LOOSE YOU.IM SCARED OF LOOSING YOU!thats how much you mean to me.idc love fade?not texting?neglects?we can fix that but when it comes to that word namely 'breakup' i practically understand that im gonna loose you and it scares the fucking shit outta me seriously.and therefore tears fall instantaneously.the fact that my love is too deep that i have really fall in love with you so badly thats makes me this ways.that makes me panic alot when i realize or when i sense that im gonna loose you.im am so very dependent on people.i admit that im not independant.and last year you were with me the whole time.i depend on you nao.loosing you is like a child loosing his/her mom.you were the one responsible for taking care of me.telling me whats good and whats not.teaching me that i havta change for the people i love.and yes ive changed alot.i dont go drinking.i dont go clubbing as and when i like.i listen to my parents nao all because of you.i resist facebook to make you happy.i really stopped thinking of ciggs everytime im stress nao all because i want to listen to you i want to gain your trust back bacause i dont want to loose you.i love you fitri.yes all this is for fitri.fitri is the one im scared of loosing and im not afraid to tell the wor;ld that cos i love him.i swear.dont qns me why.cos the ans is literally because I LOVE HIM!hmmmmm i can cry buckets for him and i swear happy tears will be more than the sad tears if i were to collect them.cos fitri makes me happy.the only one that will always make me happy.i dont know if he feels the same way as i do but im just stating what im feeling nao.

ON HIATUS

BYE. nobody reads this shit anyway...real reason is too busy with schl SEMO.kthxbye

i miss you

reason for this picture is to tell you guys that I MISS MUHAMMAD FITRI! and the part i miss most is when we went chalet with his friends cos that is when i spent a whole day and night with him.we can just stay in bed just the two of us and talk for a whole night without sleeping when the others are all dead in bed cos they were drunk.i love that night seriously.the whole day infact cos we were so close together we werent distant like how we are now.hmmm the part i cant forget was when he took the intiative to actually mop my puke when i puked he wasnt at all ashamed that i puked infront of all his friends.well i was embarrased for him infact.whenever i am angry at bby i always look back at chalet days to remind me that we are a loving couple that we can last long cos we love each other .but seriously now i miss bby so much cos we are not as loving as we were.we are sooo far apart and distant from each other.we have not met in weeks and that scares me.insecurities arises soo much that i can simply cry everytime it hit me.i hope bby reads this and understands and realize how much i am actually missing him.hmmm muahs

maybe just maybe im not yours

hmm i sometimes wish i dont have to deal with all this heartaches and late replies and urts and being neglected and not being love the way i want it to be.i swear its sucha pain to love someone so much but the way the person treats you is like.....i dont want to say it.hmm i want to be the one whom you are eager to call and hear her voice whom you cant wait to meet and ask her if she is free everyday.i want to be that someone who u wake up early cos u just wants to talk or text her that when im gone for a min you will be missing me.but seriously i dont see that at all.im just a second after your every first.im your first priority from the back.im the last person you would look up to everytime.like im the last person you call and talk to when you go to sleep.yes i realize that you call me only at 4am just to say hi and good night.im just soo hurt by you.seriously i cry everynight for you cos i keep this to myself.you keep saying you love me but u dont really show.haisss...imma drink myself to sleep today.yes.gdbye sick and tired of being there when you dont need me.

indie rock

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live the life

hello! ive gt some shitt i need to say which goes like this.human dies while things decay.we never know whens our time or when our loved ones are gonna go.we would never expect things and things will always be unexpected but us as human beings we just havto go thru life and just live it the way it is.eventho we know obstacles are gg to come by and some things are just bound to happend even if we dont have the will to accept it but it is just there.these are shits in life we have to endure.and by saying this i would like to say bby nomatter what happend between us.late replies,no meetups,no late calls,new girls,new boys whatever la okay shit that is gg to happend i really really hope we are gg thru this together.i know im not strong.i know i will ask for breakup but..........i just hope you wont let me go that easily.cos yes i admit i am not strong and i have this great fear of loosing you and i too have insecurities which includes thinking and assuming you have another girl.but dear pls dont get angry and understand me.i just dont want to lose you but i easily ask for it.i just pray and hope that you only love me.muahs.hmmmmmmmmmmmm but seriously your late replies and not telling me the truth is killing the shit out of me.haissss i sense things which i trust very much and now i feel something which im very scared of.i miss you.you yes you.you the old you that loved me with all your heart.yes.
owells despite the shitt i feel im just gonna keep my heads up smilling.i dont want to be weak but im not strong either.im just keeping things real.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY BEST

Happy new year to baby who is still in KL and to his family and obviously to everyone out there:) i just hope this year will be full of happiness and everyone of my loved ones including me stay healthy and happy^^i too hope that there are more ups than down and to last long with my FITRI<3 hehe i would like to say sorry to bby for all the wrongs i have done and the hurts i have caused in 2011.muacks dear.i hope that no other girls or boys will disturb our relationship.amin.hais blogging bout bby makes me miss him more hais.yesterday i was expecting bby to call at midnight to wish HNY but he didnt hmmm but owells he called earlier tho.maybe he too busy dancing in some club eheh?hahaha ok joking only.kbye muacks.oh btw im very lazy to post the pics if i do have the time i will okay.gt loads to upload actually plus zoo trip too!heh