so hey im back i felt like blogging^^ ive been busy with work i hope 7th dec comes fast please.i want to have a look at the sum of money i have earned myself for the effing first time hahahaa.kay not literally uhk since i did kendarat bfo but yea.okay today imma talk my heart out bout what ive been feeling lately.ive been pretty sad actually.hmm karma is hitting me back that fo sure.hahs!this so reminds me of nawawi that eff up wimp that doesnt have the guts to tell me he want me.wtf with him alright.but seriously its really coming back to me.the lies,the cries,the big fights,the cry at night bfo i go to bed,the cheating,the motherfuck stories that we both know it aint true.yeah that.by that yll should know that me and fitri have been going thru tough times together.i think for me this relationship is on a roller coaster ride as i dont feel it anymore.the everlasting happiness.yeahp.we had a big fight that day i even asked for a break up i swear i could have cried a river but i didnt.but my heart was totally hurt by hearing to his lies when i already knew the truth.only myself know that is karma but i still didnt want to accept.hmm i couldnt take it anymore till i heard his silence when i sad i didnt love him anymore.well that hurts fo sure and it hurts me to listen him go all quiet and me being weak inside i forgave him but i know i wasnt happy.i wasnt happy cause im scared.i couldnt possibly trust him right?or could i?idk!but im not happy i have insecurities now.i truely loved fitri but he lied and im not sure if he gonna change or lie again thats why im not happy.he thinks i am but im not.i faking this cause i love him i want him to be happy.hmm well i hope he see that i love him.i hope he wont hurt me anymore cause for the million times i think im saying this I TRUELY LOVE MUHAMMAD FITRI!idc what people gonna say bout him but my heart have falll deep with him.i swear.if yll would like to know how weak i am well my tears are falling just my typing all this down.hmm i so scared he is gona leave me.well if he does tho my heart is always open for him.xx
fitri:baby if you do read this hmm im sorry i said that i wasnt happy but i faked it all because i dont want you to know that im sad cause i want you to be happy.i would do anything i could just to make you happy dear youve change my life in so many different ways starting by being the only person who truly cares bout me who would get angry at me if i didnt listen who would pamper me like a lil baby who would do anything just to make me happy.and wuld even lie to win my heart.i swear youre the sweetest thing.and youre my fucking best.forget bout the bull i said bout my ex being the best you should know that you are the best baby i hope you are proud of that cos im proud of you to win my heart and be my best dear.muahs xx
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